Cary Bayless's "Mountain Blood"

            Cary’s story is filled to brim with plot points, flashbacks, and character connections.  However, I believe this to be the story’s downfall.  There are plenty of interesting things going on, but the lack of continuity and cohesion are a bit overwhelming.  The story follows the main character, Chad, and his attempts to come to terms with the loss (I think) of his girlfriend, Julia.  Joining the cast is Chad’s friend, Beau.  A seemingly rugged southern man, Beau aids the main character in his predicament and brings a sense of contentment to Chad.  The story follows a jagged linear pattern in which I mean to plot dips and dives through various thought interruptions and one big flashback.  I was a bit confused with the scenes about the ring (presumably a wedding ring).  Isn’t Chad’s girlfriend dead and gone?  Or is Chad simply trying to maintain his connection with his lover through the ring?

            The author’s intent throughout the story is pretty obvious.  He made sure that if the reader didn’t understand the cliché story line, he’d add a final “thought provoking” line.  To me, I felt that this gave away the story (and all the fun).  The interpretation element is far out for we now know that “Light will always triumph darkness.”  I’m simply disappointed in the cop-out.  The story is full of interesting elements: Love and loss, friendship, a bottomless mountain, and a pair of college-student-murdering vigilantes.  Not that I minded the dialogue, but there are a lot of technical errors that need to be revised. 

            I can see the story going in a lot of different directions.  I like how the writer played with the chronological order.  This element can surely be used to your advantage if it’s done correctly.  I would love to see a revised version of this with a bit more excitement as I anticipated from the title.