Response to Jeremy Hare's "Casting Shadows"

            Jeremy’s story follows a young girl who dies and awakes in the afterlife.  She meets strange people in Purgatory and slowly has to be convinced and come to the realization that she actually is dead.  Eventually, she is prepared and groomed to become a soul catcher as well to join the ranks of her new friends.  Later in the story, we find out that the people who were training the protagonist also killed her in the tragic fire.  They simply wanted to harvest her special spirit.  Upon finding this out, she has a final brawl with her master where she is fatally wounded and presumed dies.

            One of the things I liked about the story was that the writer chose to write from a female’s perspective.  I thought that this showed an interesting perspective challenge for the writer.  Another thing that I feel isn’t working for the story is the amount of information included.  This sort of feels more like a comic-book or graphic novel style design.  I like what is done in the story, but I think the nature of the story would be more suited for a different format.  The story also seemed to drag on at times, providing unnecessary details and gratuitous scene changes.  I did like, however, the creativity behind the plot and the characters.  I found the setting and the characters very compelling.

            Overall, the story could use a lot of editing to make the story more concise.  There are moments where the narrative seems too lengthy and therefore and can lead to the audience becoming distracted.  The overwhelming story and characters are ambitious, but I feel if they are captured and emulated well on the page, then the story will be even better.  I really enjoyed the story a lot.  Hopefully some minor changes can make it better.