Response to Nate Lundberg's "The Summer of Lemon Drops"

            Nate’s story follows a narrator and his time during a community service sentence.  He has a possible lucrative opportunity in New York, but has yet to go there due to his sentence.  The man he works for, John, is a ranger and upon digging in the sand on the beaches of Florida, they find a chest.  What was initially believed to be gold inside is merely led painted with a gold finish with a little help from John himself.  The story ends on the reveal of the prank and the main character’s reliance on those lemon drops to get him through the summer.

            First of all, I really like Nathan’s technical ability to write.  He uses a lot of style in his sentences that I enjoy.  It has a nice languid feel to it.  With that said, the story follows a very linear progression.  By this, I mean that the story seems a bit shallow.  The narrator talks a lot about a lot of things (his sister’s wedding, John, lemon drops, etc.) and we never get to see the explanation.  To solve this I think that Nate needs to make the story longer.  Everything he has in the plot is great, but I think that it needs to build up to something greater.  The title also didn’t make much sense to me.  I got that it was barely tied in to the end, but that wasn’t enough.  If the title is to remain the same, I wish that it was a little stronger and a little clearer.

            In all, I enjoyed the story very much.  I’m a big fan of Nate’s writing skills and I believe that a bit more elaboration and conflict can make this story fantastic.  Everything is there, but I just think that it needs a little expansion.  Good story.